My Kindey Failure

I was reading Cosmo today and there was an interesting article about ladies with scares which were from various situations and it made me think after being diagnosed with Kidney failure at the end of May. I will need a transplant soon as my kidneys will crash again so I too will get a massive scar. I already have had several small operations which have lefts a few scars and I have viewed them as a little reminders as to how much I have already been through and I think how much I have surprised my self as I have been quite brave and strong. Weirdly I was talking about this with a friend and how when I get a Kidney transplant I saw someone with a tattoo along their scar of a little scissor with a dotted line and underneath the words "cut here" like in those craft instructions!! It made me chuckle....!!! I wouldn't get a tattoo because I'm not brave enough to do it.

Any way this article made me think about what I have been through and how much I have surprised my self on how I have just got on with it. I think that having my dad go through it was a blessing in disguise as I knew what he had already been through and I used to sit with him while he did dialysis and now my hubby sits with me while I do it, to keep my company. My Dad's bravery gave me my inner strength.

I tell you what.... go get your hair done and get some lovely make up and some nice beauty stuff to buff and bronze you self as it certainly will give you a little boost. Treat your self to a new top or something.....emotionally I have been through the grinder but physically I felt like I have gone a few rounds with Mike Tyson when I came out of every operation....bruised and bashed but just shattered too. Even after haemodialysis you feel like you have been on a roller coaster for a few hours non stop....I remember going onto it straight after having my operation to have the line in (which me looked like a bloody alien with a little antenna)....for the first time I felt horrendous after, being sick and not being be able to move it was the weirdest feeling ever.....its the equilibrium being off balance which makes you feel like hell!! It got better nearer to the end of me coming off it and going on to PD dialysis but I am glad I am off it......a tip for any one who is about to go onto it take the anti sickness drugs and sleep through it.....it will get better but I'm not going to lie it's no walk in the park.

Any way I came out the other side and dialysis free for a while as my kidneys decided to give it another go...think they must have come back from holiday or woken up from the hibernation or something.....!! Any way for the time being every single tube has been removed and I can go back to my daily business until they (they being my kidneys) decided to play silly buggers again. In a weird way I kinda just want to get my transplant now and get back on with my life as I can''t go on holiday for about a year after and I can't have children until I have it and we can't move to where we want to as I am lucky enough to be under the care of a fantastic renal ward so we can't move because it's important to be with the staff that know me and understand what I have been through already.



So with all that in mind we have decided to redecorate the house and enjoy our time as much as we can while we are here. So I think we are going to join the national trust so we can enjoy nice walk etc. And bring a little glamour to our lovely little garden which we have started  to do with a lovely new table and chairs set. This is my plan for our garden just brighten up the boarders and make it more enticing to sit out even in our summer weather. I think I could stick the iPod on and paint and draw while I am signed off. So that is plan:

1. Sort the garden out-make it into a little sanctory.
2. Decorate. 
3. RELAX and ENJOY......

I like 3 most. So I think I will need help to plant things but I like my plan so gonna put that into action soon.

Right best get on with something productive....tooooodles xxxxx