Walking off into the sunset......

 My first walk we drove to the beach because I was only 11 days post Transplant. My scar was very sore still so we only walked a short distance before we decided to call it a day. It was still an achievement because pre-transplant I was very anaemic (with my haemoglobin at 5/6 grams per deciliter which is very low, In women in should be between 12.1 to 15.1) We had been in all day and I was getting a bit of cabin fever....bizarrely I'm not good at being ill-I get bored! So we went for a walk along the beach which was amazingly refresher. Unfortunately the day after I had seemed to have aggravated my stent so I got a urine infection so had to go onto antibiotics. I did get a bit of a light telling off at clinic because I had tried to do too much too quickly-oops! So after this I then waited quite a few weeks later to try and do a walk again. I have to say both walks I have been on had great evening skies and sunsets.

I tried again after one month post transplant and I felt even better by then and I was able to wandered along (a different) beach and had a very nice cup of tea and a yummy cake (which probably won't me with my weight gain from being on steroids for my transplant.) I've started to walk to meet my friends from work to have a coffee/tea. I'm also going start swimming, which I can walk to as it's round the corner. I also will join my hubby at the gym to start light exercise and get training for the British Transplant Games next year.

Many more walks for us to enjoy and explore our County now I can walk more than 100 yard with out being tired. Exciting times ahead.

Toodles xx

Pumpkin carving......for dinner

 So Halloween for most people would be hollowing out a pumpkin to carve a scary face into it, not me.

Nope, I was scooping all the seeds out which took soooo long, to fill it up with a yummy filling and bake it. I had never done it before, I had stolen the idea from a cooking show which I had recently been watching. The chef had done it with a much smaller pumpkin but my husband got this one so it needed a lot more stuffing than I had anticipated.

After I scooped out all the seeds I then made the mix to go back into the pumpkin. I used sausage meat and canned tomatoes with several Italian herbs and then to speed up the cooking process I cooked it off in a pan first and added a stuffing mix instead of bread and then topped it with cheese and baked it back in the oven covered in foil. It was a lovely dinner actually sounds like a weird set of ingredients but they way I cooked them it worked well- I think any way and Hubby liked it. I think I would use much smaller ones though next time. I am really enjoying cooking again, after my transplant I now have much more energy and the capacity to do all the prep work and actually want to cook.

Any way Toodles xx

Bonfire Night 2016.......BOOM!

So this Bonfire Night I was actually able to go down to the beach and watch the fireworks. Where I live they actually set our fireworks off out in the middle of the bay. They are set off from a big pontoon. So everyone stands on the beach to watch them which is very different to where I grew up watching them in a field. It was so busy and we had said we would meet our friends down there but we couldn't find them in the mass of people. The firework display was a lot shorter than I remember in previous years so unfortunately only got a few good shots of the fireworks. These were the best shots and a pic of us on the beach (just after the fireworks) Next year there is a really good spot over looking the bay which we might go to as I think we will get better shots.

I went shopping with my mum recently and I decided as it was my first night out after my transplant I would get a new outfit so I picked clothes that would be warm so I opted for a colourful jumper which weirdly was the same wool that my Granny used to knit me a scarf and hat when I was younger. So I was feeling quite nostalgic, hence the 90's flash back style. I had a denim dress like this when I was younger which I loved and I thought this outfit with my cape coat would be great for Bonfire Night. The 90's are back guys!

Any way back to the fireworks, I did see a few drones flying about which must have got some great shots. Very jealous as I really want one now to get some great shots of where I live and for when I go travelling/holidays. For now I have to use my phone as my camera was having a bit of a moment. My camera is pretty old now, so maybe next year I will get a better camera and get some great shots.

For now Toodles xx

Christmas Bauble Haul and Festive Outing

 So I had been meaning to go to this garden centre at Christmas time last year but never really got round to it. So this year I wanted to go as soon as they had there Christmas decorations out because ours got damaged in the move to the new house. I did go slightly over board with my haul of decorations. I also bought gold candles that will go on the mantle piece with some evergreen foliage with the Advent candle in the middle. So I went round the whole shop and picked these cute decorations to go on our first real tree ever. My husband had promised when we bought a place of our own we could get a real tree so that time has come- yay! Finally!

I saw the little wooden house which lights up and I stood umming and arring for some time before picking that one with the little sleigh and reindeer which bizarrely my friend, who had come to stay with me had also picked the same one.

My other decorations seem to be mostly glass, I think because I had never had any glass decorations before and I have always loved those beautiful trees on Pinterest that you see that look so elegant. They always seemed to have those glass baubles, so after hours of pinning millions of Christmas trees, I said I would get decorations like that this year.....but little did I know just how much these little beauties cost. I spent a small fortune on these decorations which I have never done before. I will pair them with sets of baubles because unlike the women that have posted the pics of those beautiful trees I really don't have the budget to decorate the whole tree in fancy baubles but I can give the illusion I have. I think my favourite is the little glass tree and and snow globe bauble.

I am going to cheat a bit and buy some gold, red and white fabric/felt and make a few more decorations to bulk out the bought decorations. I have already got some felt decorations which I made for my felt Advent calendar which I will show in another blog closer to Christmas-with the complete look. I will say that my Advent calendar it is Award winning-oh yes! I entered it into the Dorset County Show and got Second place, which I so was happy and excited about. So when I have children I can tell them its an award winning Advent calendar-lol!

On another note, I really enjoyed going round the garden centre and as I went round I took several pictures including this absolute beauty! I thought I would make it look like I was scared of the snow leopard. I bet most of you won't find this that funny but I did! Little things!

I enjoyed going round the mini Winter Wonderland and the best decoration which unfortunately wasn't for sale was the singing reindeer. I will be getting more decorations at the weekend but I won't be taking out a second mortgage this time to buy them. I will be getting some cheaper sets that I can use as fillers on the tree.

Toodles x

My Kidney Transplant Journey Part 2.... Recovery at Home, out and about.

So after leaving the Hospital that week we went out with my Husbands Parents. We had a lovely meal and they had a bottle of this bubbly to mark the occasion. It felt surreal only days before I had been on monitors and oxygen and now I was out in the world again as if not much had changed. I felt great apart from the pain of my scar- which I have to say is quite spectacular and I will wear with pride-no more will I be embarrassed of my scars. So the days kinda blurred together a bit, but I think it was the first week I was out for my first mini walk on the
beach. We didn't go far as my scar was still really sore and couldn't really stand up straight that well. I took some pretty pictures of the beach to remind me of my journey in years to come.









I have been taking a few Selfies to show my Kidney Transplant Journey and how different I now look. I don't look ghostly pale due to my anaemia, I actually have colour in my cheeks and makeup on. I never really had the energy to do my makeup because it took up so much energy and I couldn't lift my arm to my face for long periods because my anaemia made my arms shake. So now I am loving doing my makeup and feeling glamorous again. After 4 years of being ill and having my weight fluctuate, I am starting to feel like my old self when I used to wear lovely dress and wear heels to work every day.


Wow that does seem like a life time ago, a  totally different time. So my aim is get back to this pic back in 2010, I think I'm on the right path, I recently got rid of loads of old of clothes that remind me of me being ill and trying to cover my body to hide fluid retention. As well as trying to keep warm because I was so anaemic and my kidney failure, I would feel freezing. I want to match the outside me to how I feel on the inside now, which is amazing. I think after being ill for so long you have become a different person when your ill, losing your independence but mostly body and self confidence. So one of the first things I want to do is a photo shoot to prove to my self I am beautiful still even with all my scars.

The Recovery isn't just about healing the scars but it's also healing your mental health and your self image which actually take a lot longer to heal. For me it's writing my story, feel confident in my new self by getting my hair cut (watch this space but think I will go back to this look from earlier on this year) getting new clothes to fit the new me-rather than hiding my body I want to get my confidence back and show off my very quirky personality. I treated my self to a Cape coat which I wore on my lovely beach walk, I thought pairing it with my 1920's style hat and my Jodhpurs trousers (which I hadn't worn for years because they didn't fit-Yay!) I felt was dressed appropriately for the walk but still stylish.


Also seeing friends and getting out and about is very good for the mental health side to push your self to be more independent again. I have organised to do a few activities to do with friends to look forward to so I feel that I'm not missing out on events and activities. I also am planning to go back to the gym and start swimming again and get fit so I will be ready for the British Transplant Games next year. My other plan is start redecorating the house now I can actually paint the walls and get things done without getting really sore arms or really tired. My last but most important plan is to write a letter to the Donor's Family and I also want to get a commemorative necklace to honour my Donor and the amazing gift my Donor gave me- which I will never take off. I want to include the date and angel wings, I have seen the design on Etsy.com and I loved it. It did make me cry though but in a good way as I felt so moved by it. I think this is a compromise as I was seriously considering getting my first tattoo.

So how do I feel now? Well honestly, AMAZING! I can't help but kinda feel like I'm being hyper because I always feel great and very bubbly!! I'm sure some people will get fed up with bubblyness (if that's a word) soon. So I hope when I'm more active I will be less hyper, I think it may also have something to do with the steroids I'm on which have now dropped to my lowest dose-happy about that as I hoping my face will go down too as its quite round/moonface.

I'm going out for Bonfire Night this Friday and Saturday (crazy I know)  which will be my first Night out since I've had my Transplant so I've got a new out fit for it and I'm going to do my nails and get glammed up. Sneak peak of my outfit hopefully with glittery tights (need to get) and my Cape coat and a bobble hat (need to get)

Saying good bye to the Bristol Transplant Team was emotional and a big step in my recovery and journey on to the next step of getting back to normality.

Toodles xx

My Kidney Transplant Journey......

As I have said in other post I was diagnosed in 2012 so I have been ill for 4 years, but I was the Transplant list for about 18 months. These photos were take in March 2011 before I was diagnosed. I was told that I had severe food allergies. This is what happened as my kidneys were failing, my face would swell to the point on this occasion I couldn't actually open my eyes. I had gone to a walk in centre and they just sent me home with antihistamine. This was quite an regular occurrence and they had said it was Urticaria.

Unfortunately it wasn't this was my Kidneys failing and the swelling was the build up of fluid my Kidneys couldn't get rid of and the rash with blisters you can see in the photo is all the toxins building up in my body and skins. 


Flash forward 4 years, I was put on the
Transplant list in April 2015, I was on the waiting list for about 18 Month. While I was on the list I was on Dialysis 3 times a week for 4 hours a session. I found I was coping ok until earlier on this year 2016 and started to struggle with the waiting time.

 I had just started to get my head around the waiting list and that I would be waiting another 2 years for my Kidney Transplant when I was on my way to work after being off for 10 weeks for the summer break I got the call at about 9.00am. I was looking at my phone and I just had a bit of dumb moment and just said to my husband while we drove to work "why are Bristol calling me?" When I answered it the Transplant Nurse and she just said that there was a good match for me and that I needed to get to Bristol asap. So I ran into the office at work and then burst into tears, told them I got the call and then I ran out to the canteen and then ran to my friend and told her and then ran back to the car. We then rushed back to the house and I just threw loads of stuff in to my bag that was packed. Most of the stuff I didn't even use or wear. So I got there on the Tuesday midday and then waited till about 6 because I was told it was going to take place this in the evening. I then got told that it would be Wednesday during the day, then as I waiting I turned around and saw the Kidney in its bag go past. I burst into tears, I think the reality just sunk in and I knew that I was going to get my Kidney Transplant there and then. Up until that point anything could have happened for it not to go ahead.

I went into the surgery room had some drugs to put me to sleep and then then next thing I knew I woke up in recovery, a while later I was wheeled back to the ward and I remember seeing my Husband and giving him a thumbs up and then just feeling quite sore and attached to lots of beeping machines. I had a neckline in and other monitoring gear on me and oxygen for a while. I was alert straight away and chatty but I was still quite anaemic due to losing quite a bit of blood in surgery, but I was lucky because I didn't need any drains in. I only had a catheter which I wanted to pull out after the 3rd day, it was so uncomfortable but it came out on the 5th day and then I was able to go home and cooperate from there. I then had to go back to Bristol 3 times a week for 6 weeks and I am now in my 6th week and I get my stent out on Monday and then I get Transferred back to Dorset. I generally can't wait because then it feels like getting back to normality. My next thing to do is write a letter to my Donors Family, I want to take my time so that I get it right and say it in a way that is sensitive to their lost but show how grateful I am.

These Pictures below from Top Left

This is me before my transplant nil by mouth-hence the sad face. The next 2 pics are me after Transplant with Oxygen on and monitoring gear on and a neck line-looking slightly glazed from the strong pain killers from the magic button.

The Bottom 2 pics are of me going out for the first time on a wheelchair to get a Costa Coffee-very novel as I wasn't allowed Coffee on dialysis and the last pic is the 5th day ready to leave-back in normal clothes after having my catheter out. 

The next part of my journey will be in the next blog. The Recovery Process.

https://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/register-to-donate/register-your-details/ 

Becoming an Organ donor......Receiving an Organ Donation

I wanted to write this post to raise awareness on becoming an Organ Donor. As you guess Organ Donation is very important to me and very close to my heart and to my family.  In 2012 I was rushed into hospital and was told that both my Kidneys had failed due to Chronic Kidney Disease and that I would need to go on to Dialysis and I would need a Kidney Transplant and be on the list within the year. My Adoptive Father had also been diagnosed with Kidney disease but due to have Multiple Myeloma (which is a blood cancer) which meant my Father needed a Stem Cell Transplant. Unfortunately my Brother and I were ruled out due to being too young and my Mother wasn't a match to donate our Stem Cells. However my Father was able to have his own Stem Cells harvested which were taken out of the blood and then after each round of Chemo they would then give the Stem Cells back to him through a drip.


As you have have guessed from my previous posts, on the the 14th September 2016 I received a Kidney Transplant after being on the Transplant Waiting List for about 18 months. When I was put on the list, I was told that it would be approximately a 3 year wait due to the number of people waiting which was higher than the number of people registered as donors. The total people waiting for all Transplants is just over 6000 approximately and the total of people that received an organ was just over 4000 approximately. When I was told that I would need a Transplant I immediately joined the Organ Donation Register, I felt that I wanted to give the Gift of Living back, especially as I would receive the Gift of life when I received my Kidney Transplant. This creates a kind of Pay it Forward (if you like-if that makes sense) You could also be a Living Donor this means you could donate a Kidney, Part of your Liver and Tissue.

By signing the Organ Donor Register you are saving lives, not just one but you could save up to 9 peoples lives who are waiting for life saving Organ Transplants.

https://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/register-to-donate/

Awkward School Reunion 2013 blog and update now in 2016....a few surprises...

Written in 2013

An old school friend is organising a school reunion. I am dreading going to it when it finally happens. It's going to be the standard questions of "What are you doing these days?" "Married?" "Home owner?" "Dream job?" "Children?" My response is "Oh yeah I'm married...... yeah life is good oh yeah apart from having kidney failure and waiting for a transplant but life is good....!!" I just feel like it's going to be like going back to school. Are really school reunions fun or are they just plain awkward? Is it just a big competition to see who is doing the best in their lives? I'm not even sure I want to go but then I think I have over come so much since leaving school. Dealing with various issues including losing my dad, and getting ill.....I think well maybe I'm not in a dream job or own my own house but I have amazed my self at how strong I have been through out this last year and I know that's an achievement in it's self. In fact I should be proud of my self and this is a new path I am on and I should embrace it. So with that in mind I decided once I have had my Transplant I am going to do the British Transplant Games and then I hope to go onto then the World Transplant Games.....so I am going to start training I think got to pick a sport though....!!!

Written in 2016

Well that was 3 years ago and a lot has changed since this Blog that I had never actually published! Well I am now living by the sea in Dorset in a lovely town. It just feels me with joy and I had to keep pinching my self, this is where I call home now. It was a big decision to move down here not knowing anyone but it was one of the best decisions we ever made. Not long after moving down we found our first home and we were able to buy our first home. It was a massive dream of mine to have my own house and being able to decorate it with my ideas. The biggest news is that after being on the Transplant List waiting for Kidney for just over a year I got my call. It was the biggest shock and I had been waiting all summer holidays but after a day of going back to work at College for a day I got 'The call.' I was so emotional I couldn't stop crying. So the next biggest thing that I will be able to do is start trying for a baby-well in about 18 months when my Kidney Transplant. So in the mean time, I think the plan is to go on as many holidays as possible and do all the things we couldn't really do when I was ill. Going on holiday was just a nightmare and going any where more than 4 hours away form my Transplant Hospital was out of the question so mini romantic weekend get away's were out of the question. So first on my list is Edinburgh and then I want to go to Italy-either the Lakes or Sorrento. I also some days out I'm desperate to do like go to the Warner Brothers Harry Potter Studio, when its dressed for Christmas, Oh and proper Afternoon Tea in a posh Hotel somewhere. I also definitely want to do the Christmas Market somewhere and go back to the Christmas Home Show and Winter Wonder Land in London and do the Ice skating either at the Natural History Museum or Somerset House. Oh, I also want to see the Cursed Child Theatre production-if I can ever get tickets. Well that's some of my adventures planned and my other plan is getting my qualifications to become a lecturer, so watch this space. Oh and I have signed up for the Transplant Games.

Life is very different now and I am very proud of where I am in my life today. I am proud of who I today and what I have been through and coming through it with grace and poise (most of the time-lol.)

Toodles xx

Kidney disease, eating and cooking

Living with kidney disease, means that eating food can become a bit of a chore and a bit of  a hassle and cooking is even more of a challenge. I had many restrictions of what I could eat and drink, my main restriction was I was only allowed 1 litre of fluid a day. That was very difficult because I was constantly thirsty. The other main restriction was that I couldn't eat salt because that would make me more thirsty and I would retain fluid which would have to be taken off during dialysis, but keeping the balance right was difficult and any extra fluid go on our lungs or heart which give us shortness of breath. This could cause a lot of issues and make you awful as well as be dangerous.

The worst thing about kidney disease is that we would not be allowed to eat certain food such as, tomatoes, avacardos, bananas, chocolate, coffee, raw veg, dried fruit, nuts, mushrooms, exotic fruit, potatoes, marmite, hot chocolate,kidney beans, baked beans, pulses and sauces with high salt. Other veg had to be boiled to reduce the potassium and also reduced phosphates, cheese, milk, cola, seafood, processed food, pizza, ice cream, custard. I had also had to reduce my salt, so a lot of gravys and sauces where ruled out.

This means that cooking vegetables would have to be boiled and then cooked in a pan or roast them after but it mean a lot of the flavour and nutrients was lost. We had to cook a lot of our own food to limit all the restricted

We made home made food that was lower in the restrictions. This meal produced 4 portions. These worst part was not being able to eat most of the Christmas food, as most of it was restricted.

Life is very different now, I'm 26 days post transplant and all but a few restrictions have been lifted. I can't have grapefruit,pomegranate,star fruit, unpasteurised cheese, pate and smoked salmon. The first few days I couldn't decide what to eat. I think my first breakfast was a BLT, I hadn't had one in such a long time, it was delicious. Now cooking seems fun again and I can't wait to try a new recipe. It's going to be stuffed pumkin baked in the oven. Yes no carving pumpkins here it will be delicious!

foods.

My kidney disease diagnoses and where I am now

So where do I begin? So in 2012 I was working in an art gallery in a posh town, but I was commuting a long distance because we wanted to move back to the area my husband and grew up in. I managed to get a job in the area first and it was going well until I became ill at work, so I drove to my mums house because she still lived in the area and I felt to unwell to drive. That night I was in so much pain all I all I wanted to do was go to bed but I couldn't sleep because my back was in so much pain. I had to get up in the night to go to the bathroom, I noticed the toilet was just red. I screamed down to my mum and I just pointed to the toilet. She looked shocked and went and got some pain relief. We decided to call my doctor back up where I was living which is a 50 mile trip. I decided to drive back home and I said I would be OK for her to go to the Chelsea Flower show with my Aunty. So I drove back home but by the time I got back home I couldn't even stand. So my neighbour drove me round in her car to the doctors surgery. I was called in to the doctors office and I got out a urine sample I had done when I got home ( which was still bright red-basically just blood)  and put it on the desk and said that was my urine. The doctor looked shocked and tried to do my blood pressure, he looked puzzled and said this can't be right let me do it again. So he tested it again and got the same result so he got a different machine and again got the same result -250/200 approx. It kind of gets a bit fuzzy after that but I remember there being several doctors in there by the end and I remember saying "I really don't feel well." I remember they said they needed to print a letter and send me to the local hospital. The doctors said it would be quicker for my friend to take me than wait for an ambulance. So I got to the hospital but my friend had to go and pick her child up from school so I had to walk in by my self  with no idea what was wrong with me. I was put into a wheelchair because I was in so much pain I couldn't stand any more. I was wheeled round to A and E, where the nurse handed the doctors my letter and I waited there for what felt like an internity before being told to get on the bed. I called my hubby and he came straight from work, when he arrive he called my mum and we tx my work telling them I was in A and E, waiting to find out what was wrong. Little did we know how serious and near to dieing I really was. After what seemed like for ever and an uncomfortable situation having a catheter put in, a doctor came in and told me the scariest news I had heard "your kidneys have failed." I was so scared and burst into tears, the next few weeks were an emotional roller coaster. I then got moved up to a side room on a ward for about an hour before two paramedics walked in and told me that the Specialist Hospital wanted me at the specialist renal ward right away. So I was taken in the back of an ambulance to the Specialist Hospital and remember they kept saying to me to keep talking, I remember just feeling so tired I just wanted to sleep but the paramedic kept talking to me and then I heard the sirens go on to get through the traffic and then I remember I must be very ill.

Getting to the specialist Renal (kidney) hospital, the next bit was a bit fuzzy but I had an emergency neck line put in and the first night I was woken up every hour for them to take my vitals! I had dialysis through my neckline and I felt horrendous after and kinda went funny almost felt paralysed but I had lost control of my arms, they felt heavy, I did freak out but it was the equilibrium (the balance of all the electrolytes. It turned out my Creatine (toxic levels) were at 1000, normal levels are under 100. I was told about a year later I was about 24 hours away from dying, even now it makes me tear up-just how close i was to not being here, They also said they were surprised I was still standing when I walked into A and E. So I was in the Specialist Hospital for several weeks, I was there on my first wedding anniversary which I was allowed to go out for a meal with my husband and my parent in laws but I did have to be back the next day. I remember I still had my neckline in so I had to keep my scarf on so people didn't stare at me because I looked like I had a little antenna. It all feels a bit surreal now, I can't believe everything I been through. I never thought I would ever have it in me to be as brave and strong as I have been. Don't get me wrong there have been some days where I just wanted to cry but I would pick my self back up and dust my self off and start again.

Over the following weeks and months, I became more stable and then did training to do home dialysis. This is when I met my lovely friend who I did my dialysis training with. We became good friends and she then got a double kidney and pancreas transplant a few years before I got my call ( that's another blog.) So after missing all of the Jubilee Celebrations, most of the London Olympics and being sacked from my job at the Art Gallery (while I was in A and E-nearly dying) I went home to recover. I did manage to see one live London Olympic event but that was a bit of a disaster but I've already blogged about that so won't repeat my self.

I was off for a while, about 18 months I think in total from May 2012 to September 2013 . I think this was when I was out of work and decided that doing sales was not for me and being ill made me re-evaluate what I wanted to do with my life. Around the same time, in September 2012 my kidneys bounced back, they went from 5% back up to about 30% and I stayed stable for 2 years. So while I was stable I did go on a few holidays, Greece, Belgium, Hungary and the Croatia (when we moved to Dorset.)

(After that I did try and go on 4 other holidays but due to getting peritonitis I missed a cruise, Tenerife the flights were too expensive as it was so last minute, Cyprus from brother in law and sister in laws Wedding-I couldn't go because I got a massive clot in my arm from my elbow to my collar bone.)

While this was happening, I realised that when I was in the police (2007-2009) the best bit about my job that I enjoyed the most was working with the youths and doing youth initiatives. I decided I wanted to go into education but I knew looking at my CV that I wouldn't get a job with out any work experience or qualifications in that field. I decided to get a placement in a school by doing an apprenticeship. I called round loads of school but I got lots of no's. Eventually I got a yes and started my course in September 2013 and completed it a year later, summer 2014.

We then decided to try and move out of the area to the south coast to have a better quality of life for my health. We ended up moving to Dorset in the summer of 2014. So again I looked for a new job in the area and had been complaining to my kidney transplant friend, that nothing was happening and I was finding it difficult. Well that same day literally after that call, I got the call to say I had got the job I had gone to the interview for. So I started my job in September and then on around the 23rd December I was meant to have some regular blood tests done but my GP couldn't get any blood from me so he sent me to the local hospital to get bloods taken.

I had actually been to see Michael Buble concert in London that weekend and I had felt quite rough but still enjoyed it. We had Christmas hats on because we thought he would do all his Christmas songs-he only did a few.

 Little did I know that when I got sent to the hospital I would then be told that my kidneys had failed again and they were at 5% again. It was yet another shock, so yet again I had to have emergency necklines put in and yet more emergency dialysis. I then needed 7 blood transfusions because I was so anaemic that I was dangerously ill again, my haemoglobin was 5. I then needed 7 plasma exchanges (which each exchange had 15 bags of plasma) because my platelets were so low I wouldn't clot. It again was scary and a lot of uncertainty. I spent several weeks in hospital, through Christmas and New Year's Day. It was very hard and as I felt less ill I started to get bored. I was off for about 3 months recovering before I went back to work. I went back on to home dialysis but again it didn't work, I had several ops to try and sort it but in the end I got peritonitis and missed the cruise we were meant to be going on the follow day I ended up back in hospital! Around the same time I was put on the transplant list and then it was a case of waiting, doing dialysis 3 times a week in hospital and trying to live life as normally as possible! I was told it would be at least 3 years.......

The next blog is about my wait on the list and living as a normal life as possible and cooking food and what restrictions I had- it was no picnic.

Mini New Yorker's island adventures

We went to the Isle of Wight for a week but as per usual I packed for about a month and as per usual I forgot things I really needed. I packed for winter because it was so cold and miserable in Hertfordshire but I ended up sitting on the terrace enjoying the sun and a cup of tea. I think I would find it easier to just leave things there just in case. I might suggest that for next time, I leave things I don't wear that often. We decided to go to lots of different touristy things, so we went to the Needles on such a bright sunny day. I captured this lovely photo of the Needles and the bay.  I felt slightly queasy going on the stair lift on the way down. As I looked down it made me suddenly realise I was dangling by a few wires and that was it, what a terrifying thought. It felt like we were in the south of France or Spain, it was so warm that we tried to do a bit of sun bathing but I just got too hot. My parent in laws have a fabulous house which looks out onto the Solent. I can image the amazing parties that were once held there back in the 20's.
I enjoy exploring the Isle of Wight and taking beautiful pictures in many different locations. The picture was taken on the beach at the Needles. I thought the different colour sands were very pretty. I was then lucky enough to go back to my parent in laws' house and to my surprise they had prepared deliciously fresh lobsters straight out of the Solent. It felt like I could have been in Maine, it gave me great ideas for when I host my own dinner party. The next time I go, I definitely will stock up and put them in the freezer. We also went to a bar and had some lovely cocktails (mocktails), one was called Dark and Stormy but there was no grey cloud in the sky that day. Yet another great trip full of fun and adventures.

Mini New Yorker.....Feeling like a big water melon

Now girls this is a question that need to be answered and a very important one....

When should you start to wear spanks? With Valentines coming up you don't want to look like a sausage being squeezed in your lovely new dress or skirt that you bought for that amazing romantic date. I have recently discovered tights that have shaping technology in them but they only thing with these is that they really do cut in. So is there some thing a bit sexier to wear that will keep you in?

Well I did a bit of research and the only way to keep your self looking glamorous and slimmer is a corset. I have just bought a lovely red one for Valentines. It's hard as with all these scars I now have, feeling sexy at the best of times is not easy. Not just that but with my weight fluctuating with all the water retention can make me feel like I just feel like a big water melon.

My aim is to be ready for our holiday in the summer...so going to start jogging and swimming although got to wait till this snow clears.I really don't want to end up in A&E because I fell flat on my face. I've also tried doing the Zumba on my Wii but its hard work and I'm not coordinated at all so I look like an octopus when I try and follow the instructions. The only problem is going swimming I will have to wear a swimming costume....meuhhh!!! Once I loose the weight I want to go on a shopping spree....yay-in desperate need of new clothes...!!! I have seen so many nice things but just feel too big to buy them right now...!! Liking the maxi dresses.....covers up all manner of sins for me.

I have found make up that covers up scars....especially good if we want to be in bikini's this summer.

I'm off to go for a swim xxx

Mini New yorker....and delicious sticky roast duck....

So cooking kidney friendly recipes can be tricky but I am trying to cook everything from scratch. So the plan is to check the recipes out for the following week so we can get what we need and then I can cook it for hubby when he gets in. Today's Sunday roast is going to be roast duck breast with a red wine sticky sauce. I have never cooked duck before and I think its one of my favourite meats now. It was just so juicy and with the sticky sauce was just mouth wateringly delicious and it was very kidney friendly. The Recipe was from my new cook book 'Mary Berry' and it was definitely a hit. You don't have to follow it 100% if there's thing you think that aren't good for us.

Roast duck Breast

Any way Sunday lunch was done from scratch and no added salt was used and it means I can still enjoy some of my favourite foods. I am trying to loose weight too so trying to be ultra healthy now.

To be honest since being diagnosed and having to check what I am eating...it's amazing what you discover. A few weeks ago I did a little experiment with my mum's cereal and my brother's cereal and actually my brothers less healthy cereal was actually better for kidney patients. I was shocked. Especially as my mum's one are the one's being advertised as really healthy.....not so much!!

I have been feeling very inspired to cook and make some recipes I have never tried before. I might even give making pasta and pastries ago. With my new book it has step by step on making and baking all the things that look difficult but actually could be really simple.

Right off to have some time on my wii.......xxx

Mini New Yorker....Spring New Shoots....

I started to think about decorating and what else I could do to our house after going to a friends and feeling slightly desperate to get everything finished. I have fixed the curtain rail and put up some ceramic rose hooks. So now I think I am going to put some new art work...... may be some of my photos as I now have my lovely mac back with photoshop on it which I have been wining about for years since I thought I had lost all pictures after I broke my Mac power cable.

Now that Spring is on its way and the winter cob webs have blown away,I felt I needed to look at my colour scheme for our living room is duck egg blue but I want to thrown in some splashes of royal blue and turquoise (which happens to be my favourite colour right now)
Maybe this picture to replace the "Granada-Alhambra Palace" that I painted a few years ago as I think it goes really well the colour scheme. It's so fresh and with having the winter blues and the threat of snow at the weekend it gives me great comfort those beautiful blues and great greens that spring is not far away. When the last of the snow covers the old fallen leaves  and the spring shoots start to appear with there vibrant flashes and greens......a little glimmer of hope that there is a new beginning. Spring is a lovely time of year when you see things started to come back to life after baring the cold winter months. The air feels crisp and fresh and with that comes the yearly spring clean.

For me this year is a bit more about looking after what is important to me and to enjoy my self. With having an illness the winter felt like the fog that been surrounding my feelings about my diagnoses. With some good news from the hospital the fog cleared and those little shoots of hope have once again given me the sign that a fresh start (in regards to my health) maybe in order.

I can now go back to work and they doctors have given me to all clear to try for a baby when we are ready. But the best news is that I won't need a transplant for the time being. I am so pleased although in the back of my mind I still feel like a ticking time bomb in regards to health when will my kidneys fail again, it's only a matter of time.

Any way I'm going to dash......xxx

Mini New Yorker...Winter Wonderland and ice skating with Bambi

Feeling rather Christmasy we decided we would brace our self and head into London with all the Christmas shoppers and go to Winter Wonderland!! We pre-booked our ice skating and I nearly took my own skates (wish I had) was great though to go round the rink.....we hadn't been since we had been together hubby and I!!! So we had a great time although it was like skating with bambi a bit....I think I was a bit rusty.....I didn't fall over though...! Which is good because when I went in Oxford I went flying into a big wet puddle...drenched from head to toe with no fresh clothes....only drenched but in front of all of my friends who thought it was rather amusing I however did not! This time round I had about six layers on to keep warm and make me bounce back off the ice if I had fallen over.

Any way...after the ice skating we had what was meant to be one or two drinks at one of the traditional beerkeller turned out to be massive glasses and I had chocolate waffles instead (because I don't drink)

It was soooooo good.... and the chocolate was warm drizzled on top, it just tasted like a dream!! Mmmmmmm!!!! I think hubby was quite happy with his beer too then while we were enjoying our food/drinks we suddenly realised we were at the live bar...and well the guy singing was brilliant......he could do every type of song....female lyrics, male lyrics, rapping, ballards you name it he could do it. We left much later than we had planned as we were bopping away.

We are defiantly going to go again. Any way off to make waffles toodles xxxx